No marriage remains the same. Today, your marriage will become stronger or it will become weaker. You will move towards intimacy, friendship and love or you will move towards cohabitation, boredom and soul killing numbness. For it to become stronger, you will have to make decisions and take constant action. You will have to send that text, spend that extra time in a kiss, open a door, hold a hand, buy some flowers, read a scripture, pray with and for your spouse, take out that garbage, pick up those socks, wash some dishes, put on that perfume. Without constant attention, things always break down, deteriorate, fall apart. I like to call it relational entropy and it is easily seen in how marriages start strong but break down, often in a very short time; often simply from neglect. When rated on a scale of marital bliss from one to ten the average long-term marriage rates themselves at about a 3. That is a shame. With Valentines Day only 30 days away, this is a great time to start making positive strides in your marriage. What actions can you take in the next 30 days to show your love, and express your respect? Try this:
Week 1
- Every day for the next week write down three things that you love about her or respect about him.
- Next Saturday, write each other a note telling the other the top three things you love about her or respect about him. This doesn't have to be dramatic, just let each other know what you appreciate about the other.
- If your going to go out for a special Valentine's evening...make reservations guys.
Week 2
- Every day for the second week continue to note what you appreciate about them but in addition pray for you and your spouse. Pray for your walk with God, your safety, your joy, your sex life, your family, and for God to work in you to become the spouse He can use to minister to your husband or wife.
- The Saturday of the second week have a date night. Go for a walk at a local park, cook a meal together, watch a movie. Ideas for Movies that both guys and girls can dig:
- For the Love of the Game
- Last of the Mohican's
- The Italian Job
- Bull Durham
- How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days
- Dan in Real Life
Week 3
- Continue with the previous actions (daily appreciation and prayer). Start looking for your Valentines gift. I know, it's two weeks away which seems like a year, but just try it. Think about something unique, something that shows some thought and consideration. Think about what they value, enjoy and appreciate.
- Pictures of the two of you over the past 10 years put into a book. You can get these at Walgreens for a small price.
- Take one of her favorite pictures of the two of you and make a puzzle out of it. You can get these at the Wal-Mart photo shop.
- Make a CD of music from your marriage. Maybe a favorite song from each year you have been married.
- This Saturday do something sacrificial for your spouse.
- Give them a foot massage
- Do some housework they hate to do
- Use your extra cash to buy them a small gift
Week 4
- This is the week before Valentines day. Make final plans and confirm reservations if appropriate.
- Purchase/pick-up their gift
- Find a card or create an original card on the computer
- This Friday and Saturday join us for the Love and Respect Workshop. Learn how you can allow God to grow and strengthen your marriage in amazing ways.
While sustaining this level of commitment is difficult over the long-haul, daily thoughts of appreciation and daily prayer for your spouse is not. In fact, we all should be ministering to our spouses in such a way as this would become habitual.
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