I was talking to a guy last week and we were discussing his marriage. During the discussion I felt that I needed to point out that God called us to be sacrificial in showing love to our wife. Ephesians says “Love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave up his life for her.” I pointed out that God calls men to be sacrificial to the point of dying for our wives. Without missing a beat he responded “I don’t mind dying for her, it’s the living with her I can’t handle.”
Sorry, it’s an old joke but one that expresses the difficulty many face in their marriage. The church is afflicted with dying, mediocre marriages by men and women who have no idea how to overcome the sins of fear, selfishness and laziness. As a result they are in a relationship where manipulation and mediocrity rule. When frustration sets in many follow their feelings and “punch out” by calling a divorce lawyer. Our marriages look no different than those of non-believers because we use the same tools and methods that the world uses and face the same outcomes. There is a better way.
What if you started seeing your marriage as a garden; a place where the sacrificial love and mutual respect of Christ creates a climate of growth, peace and harmony. A place where weed pulling becomes a way of life as you work together to overcome the challenges and brokenness you brought into your marriage. A place where seeds are planted that result in the fruit of peace, joy and patience. A garden designed to produce holiness instead of happiness (though happiness is often possible at times). A garden doesn’t grow without work and neither does a marriage. However, when you turn your marriage over to God and begin the work of abiding in his plan for your marriage, great things become possible.
Three Strands Ministry is designed to help you on your way. Maybe you are planning a wedding and want to start strong through pre-marital coaching. Maybe you have been married a few years and need a tune-up. Maybe you are in one of those “hot spots” that every marriage goes through and you need a little support. Maybe you just want to better understand why your spouse is so hardheaded, non-committal, withdrawn, indecisive, talkative, quiet, infuriating, or delightful. Maybe you don’t know what you need but you know you need something. If any of these describe you, check out these links and see what is available to you regardless of where you are in your marriage.
Three Strands Ministry - The home page for the Colonial Hills Marriage Ministry.
Marriage Coaching - For those preparing for marriage or those who want to improve their marriage.
Love and Respect Conference- For singles and dating.
Love and Respect Workshop- For engaged and married.
Love and War- For additional study.
Weekend Retreats - To review workshop content and focus on your relationship for a weekend.
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